Is this... progress?

    Two months went by really fast and now I find myself kinda trying to evaluate what I've learnt so far about therapy and my own self.

To be honest, I didn't quite believe in the process when it all began. I knew I needed help and I was aware of the fact that I needed therapy to clear my feelings and thoughts up; however, I did not fully understood how talking things out would 'cure' me.

Only... it sort of is.

I don't want to imply by any means that I'm ok, but I'm getting invested. I'm embracing things and reliying on someone else's criteria, which is definitely the hardest part (and I'm not only referring to my therapist).

I've leart to identify my triggers and all those things within my environment that feel unhealthy, even if it's my family. On this matter, I got tools to try not to feel so guilty when I put myself and my stability first; in a (sometimes futile) attempt to avoid some of the intrusive, negative thoughts (aka cognitive distortion) that enable me to function normally.

I swifted the focus towards adding up, not restricting. Whilst trying to figure out what's the foundation of a healthy balance, I got switched up to a self-care mode whose main key is to seek for health in all its formats: nourishment, hidration, sleep&rest, exercise&movement, enjoyment and basically gettin in touch with my emotions, aknowledge and forgive my faults and (hopefully) find peace.

Right now there're a lot of stuff going on that make me feel like a yo-yo. Sometimes I'm really anxious, which makes me wanna eat anything at reach, causing guilt and a cicle of restriction. Sometimes I'm too sad to function, even regarding basic needs, and I become unable to eat, sleep or shower; which also makes me feel uneasy and guilty. Some other days I'm so full it even hurts but I still want to keep on binging, and that is a tendency of myself I was completely unaware of. I started to identify patterns, meaning I may also get the cues to prevent the mood swings and face the consequences in a more healthy way; we'll see how this goes.

I haven't felt this stable in a really long time. This feels good!

Dude, if this ain't progress I don't know what is.