Five years ago, today.

    Time goes by quickly, they say, but anyone sane would disagree on this. Time goes by at its normal speed, you're just either too happy or too busy - and I dare say it's probably the second - to reflect upon it. Once in a blue moon, when there's actually some time to look around and start notizing the world around you, you realize everything's changed.

In my case, I'm normally just too aware of the future. I feel the constant pressure to do things faster and better than anybody else, like in a competition. It's frustrating, trying to adapt to a timeline that's not always crear, precise or organized - and it's entirely my fault.

In any case, there's a blue moon tonight, sort to speak. Looking at the calendar, I was stunned to realize what month it is. Five years ago, today, I was celebrating a very good freshment year at uni, not worried at all about the upcoming exams. I was doing extremelly good and could already predict a brilliant outcome, already savouring my scholarship to study abroad, in Japan. Dreams coming true, life was sweet.

I was going to have a date soon and I was already preparing for it. I was rather excited about it, specially compared to my usual dates, even up to ignoring my permanently buzzing phone with potential hook ups. The air was getting warm and I was getting down to business with that cute blonde guy from my class.

I remember that very day being disasterous, tho. I brother got sick and the blouse I had picked up for the occasion had an almost unnotizeable hole on it, although big enough to bug me. My hair wasn't behaving and I just couldn't get my eyeline to look symmetrical; he wasn't spot on either, making me feel confused about his intentions, but looked nervous enough to partially kill my anxieties.

How clumsy, this guy. Clumsy with both hands and words. Little did I now back then about how we'd both fall in love for the first time in our lives. Abour dreaming of a forever. About how he'd break my heart; and I, his.