No matter how far.

 It's been the first one in a while, I shall admit.

I could have hidden it like I used to, but I didn't quite see the point and it was all over me before I knew it, brefore I could think it any further.

Pain, fear, nausea, blur, panting. Help.

I could have wondered why he seemed so poised in such situation, but I didn't. I was focused on breathing. Now, under the light of a new day, it seems pretty obvious he's been in this kind of situation before.

I could revolve in my own guilt and continue this cicle of self-disruptive feelings and intrusive thoughts, but I shall not. My sister's words still deafen me,  I'm sick and wont probably make it very far if I go on like this.

I erase any pleasant emotion or activity from my to-do list; I just do. Without realizing it.I could end up like my mom. I will miss all good stuff in life. 'You will end up in a hole'

There's still a heavy weight on my chest, but I can breathe now. I can eat something warm and try to concentrate. I can try to keep going, swerving, swifting, drifting away..., I know he will find me and bring me back.

I survived the day. I'm alive.