womaned up

Sometimes I still do miss him. Not that I wasn't expecting it, but certainly I was not aware of which things, in particular, I'd miss the most out of him.

You might as well think, dear audience, that being happy as I am (and fully invested&commited to my upcoming, immediate future), I'm not entitled to these feelings. Specially considering that I was the one dumping him..., But as cruel as it may seem for both of them, heart is volatile and it doesn't always long for the most rational or logical things.

Sometimes I try to talk my heart out of nostalgia and it's just not happening. Some days, I still feel as angry as I've been feeling for the last few months, boiling inside with an unknown rage. Some days I beg to myself for just a couple of words, maybe a kind smirk. Part of me resents him for not trying to win me back, while most of myself is relieved that didn't happen at all. Somehow, people around me made me sorta expect (or rather believe) him to come chasing me with the most frantical gestures as a sign of definite romance, but as I perceive it... He was respecting my decision by not doing such thing. That'd just worn us off, I believe.

Still, I miss the way he talked to me, even tho he didn't have much to say. But I put up a good united front for myself and... Womaned up, I guess, cuz men are babies.