Holding on for a miracle

Everybody get's tired at some point. It's easy to get bored when your life gets reduced at the very same points and procedures all the time. Wake up, run, work, run, workout, run, eat, run, count calories, run, clean, cook, keep running, run some errands, get back...'sleep'... and repeat. Always late, always breathless, always chasing, constantly worried.

I'm too young to be this tired, indeed. Tired of being sad, defeated by my own bloody mind. Tired of being tired, sleepless, sick of making such huge effort with everything. Tired of being skinny and hungry and weak all the time. Tired of the same memories, the same nightmares. I feel old. I feel hopeless. It's like... I'm too lazy to live one more day like this.

Tired of looking ahead and finding no good reasons to keep going. Just more dull boredom and endless efforts awaiting.

I wish I could just give up already.