21 Days without writting.

t have past 21 days without updating my blog. I'll be writting this in english because I need to say it but I prefer to do this in relative secret. I feel so fuc**** stupid, because a lot of reasons. After creating again my Tuenti Rol, I have felt more alive, happiest, better, stronger and more optimist. Is it bad? Yeeeeeeeees. I continue putting my feelings and emotions inside those social networks. They will hurt me in time. You'll see it. I am sure because...I have fell in love again. In love with the ex-boyfriend of my best friend. Am I horrible? yeeeeeees. Easy. I have left back a rotten relationship from a year and a half. SHIT. But I'm not sure yet. My user is obsessed again with Korean music. I started again with 2NE1...later, SNSD, f(x)...and boy-bands, as they call it. I started with B2AST, and after days crying because of sad lyrics, I continued dancing rythms from SHINee. I know everything about the band and his singers and dancers, specially my favourites, like Min-ho and Taemin, who are the cutest. Yeah, really, I feel better...Until I "discovered" again Super Junior. At the same time I was dancing their last single "Sexy, free and single", I was talking all the time with the user of my best friend's ex boyfriend. He gave me his real social network, and now we talk all day and all night as Eddie with Cris and Gyu with Bom, my idol. I did a montage with our photos, he commented in my entries, me talked and talked....hours and hours smiling at the computer...He's serious with his things, just an adult a bit fanciful. The problem is that I have to get an airplane or a ship to see him, cause' he lives in Canary Islands. And, obviously, this is bad because my best friend still loves him. This smell like shit. This is the beginning and just is hurting me, is difficult and I'm so scared of the love and of the world. Will I erase him? Probably. I can't keep crying no more. I have lots of problems yet, thank you. It's dangerous cause' I'm convinced my hatred of him.

However...I'm so obsesed with his idol, Kyuhyun. I don't really think that he's awesome and sexy. I don't mind. But, don't know why...I have a folder called "My obssesion~Not JS, just Kyuhyun", a folder which I see every day, photos of him as my wallpapers, in my computer and mobile phone...I'm so insane...