Awkward-pool.

A few days ago I had my first bath in the new swimmingpool. Maybe I forgot to mention that my parents had build one, hehé.
It's quite big and amazing. I barely can touch the floor in the deepest part, and that's cool. I can do a lot of swim-laps too (but I get tired so soon...). I think my parents have realised that they've made a gym for us out there.

But the problem came for me when my brother-in-law had his first bath. With me inside, I should mention. He did two of the things that I hate the most: he saw me in my bikini and the filmed me. Forget the creepy sense, that's not what matters. I hate being watched when I'm wearing my underwear, my pijama or a swimsuit/bikini/whatever. I hate being filmed in any case. It was an awkward time for me, and also a rough time, but I bravely went trough it! (just kidding)
In fact, I'm pretty tired of studing (I have completed almost all the year from spanish) and I'd like to get into the water now, but I'm sure he is gonna be inside, or watching, or even around the house. It's very hot those days and there's nothing I'd like more than walk in my underwear and a shirt in my own home at the weekend, but of couse I can't, 'cuz it wouldn't be correct.

Agh, it's annoying that the story is being repeated. I'm sick because I can't be comfortable in my own place, which is the most important thing to me. I've been safe here almost always (one exception: my sis ex-boyfriend, as now.)
I'm trying to see him as my family, and build memories. I've always wanted the huge-lovely family I never had (with grandparents and cousins to play with). But in that case, why do I feel that he is an intruder, an invader?
Get him out for a little, please! I just can't take it right now!